Hiccups in a Relationship
by kitsunephoenix
Summary: Chichiri's got the hiccups and nothing will get rid of them. The bandits try to help, but some of their cures are worse than the affliction. Can Tasuki save the day, and Chichiri's sanity? Fairly pointless, comedy fluff. Tasuki/Chichiri.


Hiccups in a Relationship

**Disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi and all related componants belongs to Yuu Watase and lots of companies. I created Hitsuro's personailty though.  
Warnings: Male/Male relationship, but not graphic.  
Spoilers: Takes place at end of serise, but the only direct spoilers are for manga volume 9 **

Author's note: Well look at that, it's actually a humour story. Just a little one-shot that was born from a crazy conversation between a friend and me.  
Oh and later on this story refers to events happening in manga volume 9 that don't happen in the anime. Anime fans, when you get to that point, just think of the OVA Omake instead. You should all know what I'm refering to ;)

Summary: Chichiri's got the hiccups and nothing will get rid of them. The bandits try to help, but some of their cures are worse than the affliction. Can Tasuki save the day, and Chichiri's sanity? Tasuki/Chichiri. 

"Hic." Tasuki paused in the act of pulling on one of his boots and listened carefully for a moment. He shook his head and pulled the boot onto his foot quickly when silence reigned.  
"Hic!" Tasuki straightened quickly and spun around.  
"Chiri, if ya don't stop those damn hiccups!" Chichiri put his hands up in a placating gesture as Tasuki stormed towards him.  
"I -hic- can't help it Tasuki! -hic- No da!" He cried in between the brutal hiccups that were so forceful they almost threw him forward each time. Tasuki calmed a little as he heard the desperation in Chichiri's voice.  
"Ya've had 'em fer two days now Chiri." He said as he pushed Chichiri further back on the bed to stop him falling off from the violent effects of his hiccups.  
"I know! -hic- No da! And I can't -hic- talk straight, no da. I'm -hic- really getting tired -hic- of it, na no da!" Tasuki couldn't help but smile at Chichiri's problem, even though it was really getting on his nerves.  
"Have ya tried all the usual remedies?"  
"Well, -hic- I tried holding my -hic- breath and drinking -hic- water. I don't -hic- know that many, no da." Chichiri admitted. Tasuki smirked as an idea hit him.  
"Ya know Chiri, a lot of the bandits claim to have 'miracle cures' fer a lot 'a things. Maybe they know how to cure hiccups." He offered in as innocent a way as possible, which instantly made Chichiri suspicious.  
"Miracle -hic- cures?"  
"Yeah! Like, home remedies. Ya know the kinda thing." Tasuki seemed enthusiastic about the plan and grabbed Chichiri's hand, pulling him to his feet and towards the door.  
"I -hic- don't know about -hic- this, Tasuki." He said doubtfully. Tasuki stopped and gave him a pleading look.  
"Ah, come on Chiri! Ya've got nothing' to lose, have ya? And they're **really **annoyin' me now." Chichiri sighed and allowed himself to be pulled out of the door.  
"Ok, -hic- no da."

"Oi! Listen up!" Tasuki grinned as the bandits broke off their conversations and looked up towards the top end of the hall where he was standing with Chichiri and Kouji. Kouji was almost bent over double repressing his laughter and Chichiri was glaring at him and cringing away from the bandits in the room, occasionally smothering another hiccup. Tasuki gave both of them a disapproving frown. Kouji straightened up and managed to look passably respectable, but Chichiri crossed his arms and returned the frown. Too bad the effect was spoiled by another hiccup wracking his body, which almost set Kouji off laughing again.  
"You guys're always claimin' to have some sorta cure fer this an' that. Well, Chiri here's got some real bad hiccups an' he's had them fer two days now. I'm gettin' really annoyed with this, as anyone would. So, any suggestions as to how we can get rid of them? Come on, anythin's welcome, Chiri don't mind."  
"Tasuki no da! I do -hic- mind! No da!" Tasuki's speech was interrupted by a rather annoyed Chichiri. Tasuki waved away his protests and turned back to look expectantly at the ten or so bandits who were lounging around the room.

"I have an idea." Said a hesitant voice.  
"Out with it then!" Tasuki called to the bandit who had stood up.  
"I was always told t' stand on my head when I had the hiccups." There was silence for several seconds as the bandits looked at Tasuki, who looked at Chichiri, who glared at them all.  
"No -hic-." He stated flatly.  
"I don't think ya have a choice, Chiri!" Kouji called before he and Tasuki moved to a corner away from the bandits now surging towards Chichiri. Chichiri simply smiled at them and clasped his hands over his prayer beads. Tasuki shouted out a warning but none of the bandits were fast enough and all ran into the barrier of red chi that had formed in front of Chichiri.  
"Aww, Chiri! That just ain't playin' fair!" Tasuki called out from behind him.  
"Shut up, Tasuki -hic- no da! I told you -hic- no!" Chichiri focused his energy into keeping the barrier solid in front of the bandits pounding on it. They had all decided to take part in this rare opportunity to tease Chichiri, something Tasuki did not often allow.

In the corner where Tasuki and Kouji sat, drinking from a stash of sake, a hushed conversation was being held.  
"Look, he hasn't put it up on all sides."  
"An'?"  
"Well, ya could sneak up on him an' jump him from behind Kouji. Then the barrier'd go down…"  
"An' I ain't that stupid. Ya want 'im t' get jumped, ya can do it yerself. After all…"  
"Don't even think about finishin' that sentence."  
"Ok! Jeeze Genrou, lighten up!"  
"So, if I wont do it, an' you wont do it, who will?"  
"I think we can get one of th' bandits t' move 'round it."  
"Which one?"  
"Hitsuro's pretty smart."  
"Yeah, let's get him over here then." The two in the shadows waved frantically at the bandit of their choice for several minutes before deducing that this tactic wasn't working. Another hushed conclave followed, which resulted in Tasuki standing up and shouting across the room.  
"Oi, Hitsuro! Get yer ass over here!" Which, Kouji admitted, wasn't very subtle but it got the job done and Chichiri was too busy maintaining his chi to notice.

Hitsuro detached himself from the semi-circle of bandits surrounding Chichiri and moved over to the corner where his two leaders sat. They grinned at him and waved him down to sit with them.  
"Why did you call me over?" He questioned after a few minutes of silent grinning. Tasuki smacked his forehead and grinned at the other bandit.  
"Oh yeah! Look over there Hitsuro." He told him, pointing wildly in Chichiri's direction. Hitsuro dutifully turned and looked for a moment and then turned back to question Tasuki on what he was supposed to be looking at.  
"Ya don' see it? Look, Chiri's barrier's got a hole in it!" Kouji declared triumphantly, pointing with a little more accuracy than Tasuki. Hitsuro quickly located the gap that Chichiri hadn't appeared to notice and grinned back at Kouji and Tasuki.  
"So, you want me to go over there and tackle him from behind?" He asked, already knowing the answer.  
"Got it in one!" Kouji declared. "I always knew ya were a smart one!" Tasuki laughed and attempted to hold back his drunken friend's attempts to hug Hitsuro. Hitsuro laughed and stood again, noting that the other bandits were keeping Chichiri busy enough that he hadn't noticed the conversations going on in the corner. Giving Tasuki a mock bow, which Tasuki returned with a grinning salute, Hitsuro began slowly creeping around the edge of the barrier, making sure not to touch it as that would alert Chichiri to his presence.

He reached the hole in the barrier without incident and carefully analysed it for several moments to search out any hidden traps. Satisfied that it truly was a hole in Chichiri's defence he backed up a few steps and, spurred on by jeers from Tasuki and Kouji's corner, ran forward and jumped easily through the barrier. Hitsuro's momentum carried him forward and into Chichiri's back. The shock instantly broke Chichiri's concentration as he pitched forward and down to the floor. He managed to throw his hands out and stop himself from crashing face-first into the floor, though he was now unable to move from the sprawled position he had landed in.

"Daaa." He groaned. "Will you get off me? No da?" He asked Hitsuro, who grinned at him and the approaching bandits. "Nope." He answered flippantly. Chichiri groaned again. He knew he was caught and silently promised himself to get Tasuki back later. Tasuki and Kouji were laughing again in the corner, which annoyed Chichiri even more. Tasuki watched the bandits surround Chichiri and Hitsuro and grinned. He was willing to let the gang tease Chichiri once in a while, but he always watched closely to make sure it didn't go too far.

Hitsuro stood up once the other bandits had surrounded Chichiri completely and hauled the disgruntled monk to his feet. Chichiri stood still, seemingly resigned to being at the bandits' will for the moment. His eyes darted around quickly; looking for an opening in the circle, finding none and still hiccupping. While his attention was diverted looking for an escape route Hitsuro gestured for two of the strongest members of the gang to move around behind him. With muffled laughter from the younger members of the gang, Chichiri suddenly found himself hanging from his ankles in the air about a foot from the floor. His shriek was muffled by the heavy fabric of his kesa as it fell down over his head. He struggled with it for a few moments before he was able to push it up and glare at Tasuki, who was rolling around on the floor with laughter.

"It isn't -hic- funny! No da!" Chichiri snapped at him as the other bandits joined in on the laughter. He reached for his prayer beads and stopped short when he found them missing. Twisting in the grip of the two men that held him, Chichiri turned to glare at Hitsuro who was in the act of tossing the beads to Kouji.  
"I'm not completely -hic- helpless without them -hic-, you know." He told him flatly. Hitsuro simply laughed.  
"I know, Chiri. But you can't use some of you're more powerful attacks without 'em!" He said triumphantly. Chichiri sighed, it was obvious Tasuki had told Hitsuro much about his seishi days. His eyes widened at Hitsuro's next words and he began twisting frantically to get away.  
"Looks like the hiccups are still there guys, why not try shakin' him a bit?"  
"No -hic- way! No da!" He cried but was powerless against the onslaught as he was roughly shaken about.

Chichiri was swung around suddenly and dumped on the floor. He lay there in a heap, dizzy and disorientated and unable to move.  
"I -hic told Tasuki this was a bad idea -hic-. No da." He muttered as his surroundings began to realign themselves. He pitched forward suddenly as a hand was slapped down on his back. Chichiri straightened up as soon as he was able to glance around him. The bandits were grinning down at him as he stood up shakily, which worried him. He returned their manic smiles with a small one of his own, forming a symbol with his hands that, with the right spell, would allow him to escape. _And pay Tasuki back_ he thought. If anything, the gang's grins only grew wider. _What on earth? _Chichiri quickly muttered the spell and waited for the dazzling light to come forth from his hands. He frowned when, after several seconds, the spell hadn't worked. Desperately he reformed the symbol and tried again several times. None of them worked either. Chichiri looked up helplessly into the faces of his tormentors.

"Huh, wasn't it a little cruel t' give Hitsuro one 'a them spell cards 'a yer's, Genrou?" Kouji asked as he watched Chichiri trying to complete a spell, not noticing the small piece of paper on his back.  
"Nah, I'm just makin' it so th' bandits've got a fair chance. After all, none of **them **has magic powers." Kouji nodded, Genrou made perfect sense.  
"An' now neither does he!"  
"Only fer as long as th' paper stays there though." Tasuki reminded his friend. Kouji waved his hand around as if dismissing the sentence as nothing important before returning to the scene in the centre of the room.

"Alright, so what do we try next?" Hitsuro asked the room at large.  
"Leave -hic- me alone, no da?" Chichiri offered and was ignored.  
"Hey, hey! I got one!" Shouted a young recruit and leaned over to whisper it in Hitsuro's ear.  
"Well, how're we getting him to do that?" Hitsuro asked and the young man began whispering to him again. Chichiri backed away from the grin that spread across Hitsuro's face but ran into another bandit who pushed him back into the centre of the almost-circle they formed. Hitsuro nodded and both he and the other man began whispering to the other Reikaku men. As one, each grinned and suddenly whirled on Chichiri. They pounced and began tickling him mercilessly.  
"W… wait! -hic- St…stop! No da!" Chichiri cried out but dissolved into helpless giggles as they found his sensitive spots. He laughed until he almost cried, but still the hiccups did not stop.

"Those're some damn stubborn hiccups." Hitsuro admitted, scratching at his head in perplexion. Chichiri nodded silently, breathing hard and still hiccupping. Hitsuro considered his options for a moment before grinning again.  
"Naa, Chiri. Just what are ya willing to do to get rid of those hiccups?" Chichiri took Hitsuro's offered hand and stood, brushing off his clothes.  
"Do I -hic- have a choice in doing or -hic- not doing whatever you people -hic- want me to do? No da?" He asked ruefully. Several of the bandits laughed and Hitsuro shook his head.  
"Up to a point." He replied. "Anyway, I need yer cooperation now."  
"Why not." Chichiri sighed.  
"That's the spirit! Alright guys, make the circle a little wider." Chichiri hesitantly glanced around as the other bandits widened the circle. There were still no gaps and Hitsuro stayed by his side.  
"Right, Chichiri. Ya need to stand on one leg."  
"Do I have -hic- **any **choice in the matter? -hic- No da?"  
"Well, we could always try puttin' ya upside down again, I suppose." Hitsuro replied with a smirk. Chichiri glared at him but did as he had been told, both arms wind milling frantically until he gained his balance.  
"Good. Now ya need to spin in a circle, while holding yer breath, and touching yer nose." Chichiri raised one of his mask's eyebrows.  
"And that -hic- will help how?" He asked, the hiccup almost throwing him off balance again.  
"It's an old family cure! Oh, and ya gotta jump up an' down too."  
"While -hic- spinning, no da?"  
"Yes." Hitsuro replied in a perfectly straight voice. Chichiri glared at him then at the other bandits, who were trying their best not to laugh.  
"Daa… -hic-." Chichiri sighed, before attempting Hitsuro's 'cure'. Thanks to his years at the monastery performing tricky meditation positions he was able to stay upright while spinning, though it was a close call. He stopped when he could no longer breath and glared at the bandits who had fallen about laughing during his performance. Chichiri took several deep breaths and the entire room waited. Hitsuro grinned in the silence.  
"See! Told ya it.." But his congratulatory speech was interrupted by another hiccup from Chichiri. "Damn." He muttered.  
"Anyone else got an idea?"

An older bandit suddenly jumped up and ran from the back of the group and into the kitchen. The other bandits shrugged and waited for him to return. He didn't take long and returned from the kitchen carrying something hidden behind his back. Although they didn't know exactly what was going on, the others still made way for him and those that saw what was behind his back gained mischievous smiles. Hitsuro peered curiously at what he was holding and laughed, waving the bandit forwards. Chichiri attempted to duck under the arm of one of the men blocking the way but was pushed back. The older bandit stood in front of him, grinned and brought out a jar from behind his back. Before Chichiri had the chance to see what was in it, the man upended it over his head. Chichiri was too surprised to do anything but stand there as a sticky liquid poured out all over his head.

There was silence for a few moments as Chichiri slowly raised his hands to his head.  
"Is this… honey? No da?" Followed by a particularly violent hiccup. Every person in the room, bar Chichiri, began laughing while the bandit simply stood in front of him, grinning inanely in a drunken way.  
"It's not funny! NO DA!" Chichiri fairly screamed at the room, which only caused several bandits to begin laughing harder. Tasuki was pounding the floor with his fist and Kouji, who had been drinking at the time, was choking on his sake. Chichiri, faced with a roomful of people laughing at him, admitted defeat and slowly sank down to sit on the floor, clutching his head and moaning.  
"My -hic- hair. My hair. No -hic- da." Hitsuro finally managed to get most of the bandits calmed down, though there was still the occasional snort of laughter, and they turned back to Chichiri. He sat on the floor with both legs out at right angles before him, staring down at his honey soaked hands and muttering death threats to Tasuki. He still hiccupped occasionally. Hitsuro looked back to the bandit stood in front of Chichiri.  
"What ever possessed you to do that?" He asked with a slight smile.  
"Well, me ol' Grandma used t' say that was good fer curin' hiccups." He defended himself with a slight slur.  
"Hey! Didn't yer Grandma say ya were supposed to **drink **as much honey as ya could in one gulp to cure the hiccups?" Another bandit asked. The one with the honey pot looked down at his hands, then to Chichiri, then to his hands again and then back to Chichiri once more for good measure.  
"Oops." He muttered before wandering to the back of the group, looking for another drink. His reply had set the bandits off laughing again and Hitsuro shrugged before leaning down and trying to get Chichiri to come out of his sticky revere.

Tasuki had finally noticed Kouji's plight and thumped him on the back a few times to dislodge the sake. It didn't help much, but Tasuki liked it and so he did it again. A very red-faced Kouji turned to glare at him.  
"That's enough! Thank you very much, Genrou." He said sarcastically.  
"Ahh, 'twas no problem, pal." Tasuki replied with a grin. Kouji muttered curses towards him and took another drink. Tasuki just shrugged them off and turned back to Chichiri.  
"Chiri looks rather depressed now." He remarked.  
"So would you if ya got that much honey poured on ya." Tasuki nodded as his sipped his drink.  
"What're we gonna do next?" Kouji asked him curiously. Tasuki grinned and waved another of his spell cards at him. Kouji tried to grab it to see what was written there, but Tasuki pulled it out of his reach.  
"We're gonna try another tactic. One that'll probably bring him outta that sulk too." Without another word Tasuki stood and strode towards the loose circle of bandits, leaving a confused Kouji to run after him.

Hitsuro was having no luck in getting Chichiri to talk to him, not that he was getting any help from the other bandits. Every time they took one look at Chichiri they'd burst out laughing again. Nothing he could do would get them under control again, so it was with relief that he saw Tasuki walking towards him.  
"Hey, Hitsuro. Having fun?" Tasuki asked with a grin.  
"Well, I think **they're **having more fun than I am." He replied, jerking a thumb over his shoulder at the other bandits. Kouji had finally caught up to Genrou, skidding to a halt beside his shoulder and almost falling over. Hitsuro reached out and steadied him quickly.  
"Wah! Heh, thanks Hitsuro-san." Hitsuro smiled at the younger man.  
"No problem, Kouji-kun. Why have you and Genrou run over here so suddenly anyway?"  
"I dunno, Genrou wouldn't tell me." Kouji replied sullenly. Tasuki laughed and showed the spell card to Hitsuro.  
"I was thinkin' 'a usin' this." He told him with a smirk. Kouji made a sudden grab for the card and was shoved away by Tasuki as Hitsuro read what was written there.  
"Genrou."  
"What? It's a legitimate technique for gettin' rid of the hiccups."  
"But you don't know what's going to happen when you use it."  
"An'? C'mon Hitsuro, it's **Chichiri **fer heaven's sake. How bad can it be?"  
"Famous last words." Kouji muttered, still put out that he wasn't allowed to see what was on the card. Tasuki either hadn't heard or had ignored Kouji's whine and proceeded to complete the last character and set the spell going.

Chichiri had finally noticed what was going on around him as Tasuki was setting the spell in motion. He looked up just as there was a puff of smoke and the card transformed. Chichiri sat for a moment in pure, terrified shock before screaming and diving behind Hitsuro's legs.  
"Anything but **that**." He whimpered, for what stood before him was his worst nightmare.

Tasuki in a dress.

The image that had appeared from the card was unmistakeably Tasuki, he looked exactly as he had when the group had been forced to visit that terrible island of women. The hair and makeup, though excellently done by Nuriko, looked garish on him and the long flowing dress that would have looked elegant on any woman transformed the scene into one of horror. The bandits in the room, who had just recovered from Chichiri, took one look at the apparition and fell about laughing again. Even Hitsuro found it hard to smother his laughter, and Kouji didn't even try. Tasuki simply stood there, glaring at everyone and muttering death threats. Chichiri was whimpering behind Hitsuro, covering his eyes with his hands.  
"Please Suzaku, once was enough."  
"Chiri, shut up!" Tasuki growled at him.  
"Oh, I don't know Genrou." Hitsuro remarked with a smirk. "I think it looks good on you." The glare Tasuki shot at him was ignored as he paused in thought.  
"Hang on, with what Chichiri said… Have you done this before, Genrou?"  
"Ya mean Genrou didn't tell ya about **that** part of the adventure?!" Kouji asked in surprise from his position on the ground.  
"Kouji! Shut the hell up!" Kouji and Hitsuro began laughing again, Kouji silently promising the story to Hitsuro later, as Tasuki finally reached forward to snap the paper in half. The illusion disappeared but the mirth of the other bandits did not.

"Chichiri-kun? You can come out now, it's gone." Hitsuro gently tried to coax out the shaking form. Chichiri looked up reluctantly and sighed in relief.  
"Thank goodness, no da. I never wanted to see that again."  
"Hey! It wasn't that bad." Tasuki muttered. "Wasn't my fault I had to dress up like a goddamn woman." There was silence for a few moments and the trio turned expectantly to Chichiri.  
"Yes! Chiri yer…" The silence was broken by both Kouji and another hiccup.  
"Damn it Kouji! Ya jinxed it!"  
"Shut up! At least I've never cross dressed."  
"AH! I'll get ya fer that!" Chichiri and Hitsuro watched Tasuki chase Kouji around the room, a few other bandits also watching curiously.  
"He really needs to learn to keep his mouth shut."  
"Agreed -hic-, no da." There was silence for a few moments as they watched Tasuki. "Ano… Hitsuro-kun?"  
"Hm.. Yes, Chichiri?"  
"What -hic- was on that card? No da?"  
"Oh that. It just said 'Something Chichiri's scared of.'."  
"Ah, -hic- na no da."

Hitsuro had finally gotten the bandits calmed down and Kouji and Tasuki sat next to each other again. _Honestly it's like looking after children sometimes _he thought as he looked around the room. Chichiri was sat down next to Tasuki, still hiccupping, and deliberately not putting his hands anywhere near his head. Tasuki and Kouji were still exchanging scowls every so often and the other bandits were subject to sporadic fits of giggles. He sighed, _why am I the only **adult **among them sometimes? Does it come with being the oldest? Hmph, even Chichiri's not being much help today. Not that I blame him though. _Hitsuro clapped his hands loudly to bring the attention of the room back to him.  
"Alright. We've tried practically every hiccup cure known to man." Chichiri perked up at this information.  
"Really? -hic- Does that mean I can -hic- go wash my hair, no da?" Hitsuro ignored him and continued addressing the bandits.  
"However, we have one last… drastic measure we can try." Hitsuro looked around the room very solemnly until comprehension slowly dawned on the faces of his comrades.  
"You mean…" Hitsuro nodded. Chichiri began slowly backing away again but there was nowhere to run to. He was quickly pounced upon and carried out of the room, protesting violently. Tasuki and Kouji were left together in the room, both confused at the sudden exit.  
"Ya don't think they're…" Kouji asked hesitantly.  
"I wouldn't put it past them." Tasuki replied grimly. Both men looked at each other for a moment longer and then, together, jumped up and ran after the other group.

"Put me -hic- down! No da!" Chichiri demanded, with very little effect. The bandits continued to carry him outside and around the stronghold, Hitsuro directing them. _If this doesn't get rid of those hiccups, nothing will. _Hitsuro thought with a smile.  
"This way!" He shouted and led the group down another path.  
"Where are we -hic- going?!" Chichiri asked, getting no more response than his first attempt. "Daa." He sighed. "DAA!" He shrieked as he ducked under a low tree branch. The bandits carrying him sniggered and he glared at them. The group was brought to a sudden halt by Hitsuro and Chichiri was sent plummeting to the ground when his carriers lost their grip. He landed hard and sat there for a moment, dazed and unable to see where they were as the bandits surrounding him blocked out his surroundings. The bandits leant down and hauled him roughly to his feet. Chichiri glanced around nervously, but many of the bandits were taller than he was.  
"Now!" Hitsuro roared. Chichiri was picked up by several bandits and thrown forward.

Tasuki and Kouji were several paces behind the large group of bandits. Tasuki winced when Chichiri narrowly avoided hitting his head and muttered in sympathy when he was thrown to the ground. Both Kouji and Tasuki had had their suspicions confirmed by this point.  
"Has he gone mad?!" Tasuki was barely out of breath.  
"I think it's more kill or cure now." Kouji was fairing worse and was panting out his sentence between hurried breaths. Tasuki exchanged a grim look with Kouji and put on an extra burst of speed to try and catch Hitsuro, but was too late.  
SPLASH.  
"He's gonna kill me." Tasuki muttered as he skidded to a halt. Kouji caught up and offered a consolatory hand on Tasuki's shoulder.  
"Look at it this way," He murmured. "At least it'll wash the honey out."

Chichiri was wet. In fact he was both cold and wet, which was infinitely worse. He sat in one of the many ponds that dotted Mt. Reikaku, near the edge where the bandits had managed to throw him. The water reached his shoulders and was incredibly cold. The bedraggled monk sat glaring at the bandits with his one good eye, his mask having been washed off during the impact.  
"Well, ya said ya wanted to wash yer hair Chiri." Hitsuro reminded him.  
"Not -hic- funny. Not -hic- funny at all."  
"Goddamn it! They're still there!" The bandits regarded Chichiri soberly, his glare too much for them to even laugh.  
"Well, sorry Chiri but I give up. Yer hiccups have defeated me."  
"Finally -hic- no da." Chichiri muttered darkly. Hitsuro recognised the danger he was in, the spell card had also been washed away, and herded the other bandits back to the hideout. He waved as he passed Kouji and Tasuki. Tasuki shook his fist back at him.

"What are you going to do?" Kouji asked.  
"What can I do?" Tasuki replied helplessly.  
"Well. There's always the technique I used on you back when ya were just startin' out in the gang." Tasuki stared at him in surprise. "Hey, it could work. You go wait in the second room on the right off the main hallway an' leave the door open. I'll do the rest."  
"Ya'd really do that fer me?" Kouji shrugged and grinned at his friend.  
"I wanna see you both happy just as much as anyone ya know. Now go on, get." Tasuki nodded gratefully and hurried off back to the stronghold. Kouji sighed and turned back to the pond.  
"Now, what to do about him?" He wondered.

Chichiri had taken Hitsuro's 'advice' and ducked his head under the water a few times in an attempt to get rid of the honey. It had worked to some extent, other than the stubborn bit of pondweed now attached to his ear. He looked up as Kouji arrived.  
"Looks like ya could use a hand, Chiri." He said softly, offering his hand.  
"-hic- Thanks, no da." Chichiri replied, accepting the hand and allowing himself to be pulled up. He unclipped his kesa, which Kouji took and began wringing out, and tried to get as much water as possible out of his clothes. He wasn't much better off, but he was a little more dry by the time they'd finished and he swung his damp kesa back over his shoulders. Kouji silently handed Chichiri back his prayer beads. He took a quick look at the monk and tugged the pondweed from Chichiri's head.  
"Genrou did try to stop 'em, you know." Kouji told him as they began walking back.  
"I -hic- know." Chichiri replied. "I just hope he -hic- remembers this next time he -hic- wants to 'have some fun' -hic- no da."  
"I'm sure he will. They were genuinely trying to help though." Chichiri snorted slightly at that comment and the two completed the walk in silence after that, arriving at the stronghold quite quickly. _He's probably gonna try an' kill **me** when I try this. _Kouji thought ruefully as they entered the hideout. He saw the open door soon after entering. _Ok, here goes nothin'. _Taking Chichiri by surprise Kouji grabbed hold of his shoulders and shoved him through the doorwayslamming the door behind him and leaving him in semi-darkness.

"Kouji! No -hic- da!" Chichiri exclaimed when he realised what had happened. "Daa, I'll -hic- get him for this." Chichiri looked around the room quickly, trying to see if anyone lay in wait for him but the shadows were too dense to see much. He swung back around to head for the door and froze when someone grabbed him from behind. An arm was looped around his waist while another was draped across his shoulder, the two hands meeting at his midriff.  
"Hi." The person whispered into his ear.  
"T…Tasuki, -hic- no da." Chichiri relaxed a little once he identified the voice, but he was still unsure as to why he was being held like this.  
"Yer all damp, Chiri. An' you've still got those hiccups I see." Chichiri nodded in response and Tasuki released him, spinning him around to face him. Tasuki's face was barely visible in the dark of the room and one of his arms was still around Chichiri's waist, holding him close. Chichiri couldn't clearly make out Tasuki's eyes, but the smirk across his lips could easily be seen.  
"I been waitin' fer ya Chiri." Chichiri nervously wet his lips.  
"W… Why? -hic- No da?" The smirk grew wider.  
"Why, to show you my own personal cure fer the hiccups." Tasuki replied and leaned forward slightly. Chichiri was now able to see the expression in his eyes. Before he could react, Tasuki had leant further forward and covered his lips with his own. The kiss was sweeter than Chichiri had ever dreamed it would be, undemanding and pure. He tentatively unsealed his lips and allowed Tasuki to deepen it, revelling in the moment.

When Tasuki broke away Chichiri was left speechless. He slowly brought one hand up to his mouth in shock. Several moments passed with the two of them simply staring at each other. Tasuki's smile widened as he released Chichiri from his grip.  
"Works every time." He told him, laughter in his voice.  
"My hiccups… They're gone." Chichiri murmured in wonder.  
"Did ya expect anythin' less?" Tasuki asked mockingly. He walked past the stunned monk but paused before the door. "Chiri, if ya want this… I'll be in my room." He said quietly before slipping out into the night. Chichiri thought for a moment about what 'this' would entail and a smile of his own spread across his face. Quickly he followed Tasuki from the room, eager to show him just how much he wanted it.

Kouji laughed from the room across the hall and poured out another cup of sake. It had gone just the way he'd planned. Well, he hadn't planned for the pond, but otherwise it had gone quite well.  
"A job well done in my view." He said as he settled into a chair by the window.  
"Agreed." Replied the old voice from behind him.  
"Care to join me in a toast?" The other person accepted the proffered cup.  
"To what?"  
"To the new relationship, of course."  
"Very well. To Chichiri and Tasuki." The two unlikely partners clinked glasses and one downed the liquid while the other merely sipped at it.  
"Thanks for helping me."  
"Oh, it was **your **idea."  
"But it wouldn't have been possible without **your **magic."  
"Shall we just call it even?" Kouji laughed and poured out another cup, sipping it this time as he looked out into the night.  
"You know Taiitsukun, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.  
"Don't push your luck, bandit boy." Kouji laughed again and smiled at the old women who had helped him hook up two of his best friends.  
"Now we just gotta make sure neither of 'em ever finds out." He muttered into his sake.  
"Agreed."

**Like the ending? Well, I think I may have strayed into the relm of Crack!Humour a little there... -sweat- But anyway, it felt nice to write humour for a change. Now's the moment of truth, can I actually write a good humour story? Why not press the little button and tell me, ne?  
Oh, and kudos goes to Yahnkehy for Hitsuro's 'old family cure' idea :D  
Well, now my family knows why I've been asking them about strange/funny hiccups cures for the past few days - Ja ne, peoples!**


End file.
